All I Want For Christmas Is..... A colonoscopy!

Christmas is 2 weeks away.

Im still trying to figure out where the hell 2011 went....

Yeah. I was watching my beloved soaps the other day and a commercial came on - very similar to one they ran a few years back. Only THIS time, the commercial was a woman who was, NO-SHIT, (AND NO PUN INTENDED) urging other women to gift their husbands with a colonoscopy this holiday season. Yes, nothing says Merry Christmas like anal invasion. I giggled, I rewound the DVR about 15 or 16 times and then I thought to myself...This could be THEE best gift EVER! Although something tells me if I presented my husband with an appointment for a colonoscopy he would gladly suggest he return the favor. ::VOMIT::

Im getting ready to send out the Christmas cards. Shopping is almost done, Christmas has officially projectile vomited throughout my house. All is good. I envy the people who can sit and write or type out those end of year letters they enclose with their cards. I cant do it. I'm lucky if I remember to throw a bra on before I leave the house, let alone the events that took place over a span of 365 days. If I did send a letter it wouldnt be much... probably go a lil summmm' like DIS:

Happy Holidays Friends and Family,

Hubby still hates his job, we need new carpet and the dog sheds like a mother fucker. I learned how to make my own buttermilk, the kids are good - one decided to rip a chunk of the dry wall out, the boys bond over farts, soft dart machine guns, and their disgust for Justin Beiber. Our Little Princess handed me her own shit the other day. I suppose you have figured out by now that all three provide me with epic Springer-like insanity on a daily basis. My father is not aging gracefully and I have tonsil stones. Other than that, not much to report on the homefront.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, dont forget to return the .44 cent favor.

The Jakubowski's

~

So be thankful this holiday season when you recieve the card I had to do over and over with the pictures I had to take over and over, separately, of my fabulously uncooperative children, and don't get "the letter".

Because.............. WE A WHOLE BOX OF CRAZY!

Till next time chitlins.