You Know You Blog Too Much When...

Well, I'm back babies... Been busy with this stuff called - life...I just read this article that says some numbskull in Dublin, GA actually called to report a burglary, and said that the culprit took his FOUR DIME BAGS OF WEED. And he had the absolute audacity to tell the police that he planned to smoke the weed after he got off work. What in the..??! The police didn't arrest him, even though that type of stupidity is criminal and should be punishable by law! To add insult to injury, this fool works as a bus driver for the public school system. Umm...what kind of screening process do they use to hire these people? Apparently all you need is a high school education (if that). I would think there would be a more stringent process to weed out crazies like ole boy....these are the people that are responsible for getting kids to school safely. 

This makes me think of one of my favorite quotes:

"Man, ain't nothing wrong with smoking weed! Weed is from the earth. God put this here for me and you. Take advantage of it man. Take advantage."- Smokey from "Friday"

Love that movie. It is ghetto as anything, but I am ghetto I suppose. Well, to be honest, my upbringing hasn't been all that rough in my opinion. Yeah we were poor as hell sometimes and I didn't get half the stuff that I wanted...but I was never in any real danger of getting caught in gang crossfire or some 'ish when I walked out the door, ya know? I had the key around my neck, hanging from a white string...I can only look on my childhood as something positive because it makes me more appreciative of the things I do have as well as making me more grounded. It irks me that people try so hard to pretend that they don't come from a certain type of life or environment. If you weren't brought up bourgeois, then don't call yourself acting like it once you attain the middle-class income bracket. I fully embrace my past because it defines who I am today. I'm never scared to let someone know where I'm coming from and where I've been.

We all go through periods when we want to hold our thoughts tightly and not share with others...which is why the majority of folks with an online journal still have a private written one. When you share your thoughts and other personal details of your life with friends and strangers you open yourself up to criticism (constructive and otherwise) and sheer craziness sometimes. People have a tendency to read your words and think they actually know you, when in reality almost no one presents their whole and true self on the internet.

I suppose I'm lucky in that not many folks that I'm aware of actually even read this journal...less dramedy for me! I always make sure that I refrain from giving out too many personal details online...there are far too many potential stalkers to be careless about that. It really amazes me how much some people are willing to share of their actual real life. For now I'll be keeping my writing on a semi-personal level...it's not like I'm all that deep anyway. lol I find the humor in everything and that's what this journal is about...reminding me of the reasons I have to smile and laugh and enjoy life...which is already too short as it is.

Give me SUGA' or give me DEATH.

So, I was talking to my doctor this morning about some symptoms I have been having and one the things he said to avoid at all costs was ARTIFICIAL SWEETNER. Now before anyone thinks I'm picking on poor Diet Coke, my doctor's admonitions are good for all diet drinks and foods sweetened with artificial sweeteners. Period. When I asked him why, what he said shocked the hell out of me. Not only will an artificial sweetener increase the body's desire for sugar (thereby leading to weight gain, not weight loss), NutraSweet aka Aspartame causes blindness and dementia.

Blindness and dementia, people.

WTF?!? Ive read just about every book Dr. Oz and his sidekick have put out and am fully aware of the importance of eating healthy, eating raw, eating organic and do so 90% of the time. I felt bitchslapped when he told me my beloved Crystal Light is a no-no.

That's all I needed. I started doing a little research, and here's what I found:

According to an article written by Marcelle Pick, OB/Gyn NP(http://www.womentowomen.com/healthyweight/splenda.aspx), "aspartame use can result in an accumulation of formaldehyde in the brain, which can damage your central nervous system and immune system and cause genetic trauma." Oh, but wait! It gets better (read: worse): "The FDA admits this is true, but claims the amount is low enough in most [people] that it shouldn't raise concern." (emphasis is mine)

Uh, I don't know about you, but I plan to avoid formaldehyde until I'm dead and gone, thankyouverymuch, not to mention blindness and dementia. So I'm tossing everything in the house that contains Aspartame - the Diet pop, the Crystal Light, the Diet Lipton Tea, the 25% less sugar Quaker granola bars and whatever else I have.

I then decided to see what I could find out about Splenda. Like everyone else, I believed exactly what the manufacturer wanted me to believe: That Splenda is "natural" because "it is made from sugar" - an assertion parroted by the FDA in its press releases about Splenda. I had begun using Splenda to sweeten my tea when my 8 yr old was less than a year old. I put Splenda in everything believing I was providing my family with a healthy alternative to sugar. I even experimented with baking with Splenda (or the knock-off brands) so that my chocolate chip cookies were only made with half the sugar - I still used brown sugar, just substituted the granulated sugar with Splenda...

Wellllllllllllllll....Here's what I learned about good ol' Splenda:

Splenda is the trade name for sucralose. Sucralose is a synthetic compound that was 'stumbled upon' in the mid-70s by British scientists looking for a new pesticide formulation. (Mini-biochem lesson ahead!) The Splenda molecule is comprised of sucrose (the chemical name for sugar), but here's the rub: Three of the hydroxyl groups (fancy chemistry-speak for bonded oxygen and hydrogen atoms) have been replaced by three chlorine atoms. The reason Splenda is characterized as having no calories is that it is for the most part unrecognized as food by the human body and isn't absorbed by the small intestine. But our bodies don't like unrecognizable things and will try to digest them regardless, so there is really no guarantee that our bodies aren't absorbing the chlorine molecules in Splenda.

The ugly upshot, my friends, is that Splenda has more in common with DDT than it does sugar and there is damnall that's natural about it. Unless it is created by Mother Nature, it isn't natural, and we're all fools if we allow ourselves to believe what the manufacturer wants us to believe about their product because the manufacturer is chiefly interested in selling its product to us, not in whether the product is actually good for us like they claim. There is an enormous conflict of interest here. Needless to say, as painful as it was to do, I tossed every last bit of Splenda in the house, too. I hate wasting money more than just about anything, but I couldn't in good conscience give away the Splenda I had in the house knowing what I know about it - I'm not going to participate in the poisoning of America by buying and ingesting anything that contains an artificial sweetener, nor am I going to help poison my friends and neighbors by giving them anything with an artificial sweetener. I have gone back to sugar, but in very limited quantities. 

Bottom line: Do your own research, learn the truth for yourself about artificial sweeteners. And accept the fact that curbing our sweet tooth-impulses isn't fun or easy, but it is exactly what we have to do if we want to stay healthy and reasonably trim. There is no such thing as having our cake and eating it, too.

It's a fact that...

I love to cook.  I mean... I LOVE to cook. Which is problematic at times, because I also LOVE TO EAT and really dislike my Nazi trainer and going to the gym. With three kids, countless appointments for this and that, the photography, etc, its really only on the weekends that I get to take the time I want, perched in front of that stove and de-stress. And that it is for me - a total RELEASE. My husband was reminding me that it made me happy to hang out in the kitchen and create meals, and I should rediscover my passion for it. It is relaxing. One rule we have in this house is we ALWAYS sit down to a big Sunday dinner. I didnt have that as a child, and I want my children to expect to have their asses planted firmly in my chairs at my dining room table, well into their older years, EVERY Sunday - Soprano style.  My boys have such a love for cooking with mom and dad as well. I love it. It also could be that I am training them to make good food so that I wont have to eat their wives shit and smile while I choke back some undercooked chicken or burned meatloaf  - all while wishing myself instant death with a big friendly smile plastered on my face.

Moving along...

I was never good at throwing things out. I have boxes filled with crap from years and years ago, greeting cards signed by people I've long forgotten, and photos - oh, the photos. It's as if throwing one out is somehow throwing out the person. And so I err on the side of caution and save them all. I probably take more pictures than anyone down the line will ever be able to distribute or remember who the hell the person is in the photo. I save memories too. I hoard them like treasures. But I rely on my mind more than I should to preserve them. My mental snapshots need safer keeping than my brain will allow. Particularly the newborn memories, with their value in inverse proportion to the functionality of our gray matter during those first few insane weeks. I do not have many baby pictures and perhaps that is why I feel the need to capture every moment of my boys lives and preserve them. It is a sickness. No it isnt. I just adore them and want them to have many happy memories.

Isnt that what its all about anyhow?

I said BURR!

It's cold outside. How bout a nice warm bowl of STFU?

I think too much. I want to know, who, what, when, where, why, who said what, what expression did they have on their face, etc., at all times. I probably would have made a great psych-iatrist/ologist if it weren't for the fact that I'm a little looney myself.

Perhaps I'm fascinated with others because often I feel abnormal, different from the "average" person. At times it feels like I'm operating in a plastic bubble, hyperbarically separated from the people around me. There seems an unreasonably high proportion of people that choose to live their lives in a complete and total ignorant ass mental fog, content to be spoonfed "knowledge" and "facts" on an as-needed basis. When I come across people that make an attempt to understand me...that is, the real Sandra that is buried under these abundant layers of feigned indifference, fluff and self-righteous contempt, I cling to them like a snail on the wall of a dirty fishtank! :) Yeehaw! I always feel lucky when I find someone that has the same twisted sense of humor and socially unacceptable world views as me...like wow, there are others like me. Individuality/originality is great and something to be embraced but sometimes it can completely isolate you...

When I go through negative situations, some of that energy seeps into my soul and I'm so tempted to open up Word and just spew all kinds of filth. I like to vent and rant as much as the next person, but I don't want my journal to become one overflowing with nastiness. People coming here reading and thinking, "Sandra just blew my high, ole heffa!" At any rate, life is too short to be all angst-ridden. I'll leave that schtick to the teenagers.

Someone told me that cynicism is the best way to block the good things that may come into your life. But how can you not be a little pessimistic when your negative thoughts have on more than one occasion, proven to be right? So how do I get my positivity boat to remain afloat in a sea of negativity? Malibu and Pineapple people. Mojito's...Nice and COLD. Slurp. I'm starting to get mellow with age. When people say dumb shit it just rolls off my back. I block most Yahfools immediately. I speak before being spoken to. I ask people how they're doing. I talk to strangers while standing in line. My friends think I'm a) going crazy or b) going crazy.

But I ask you all THESE nuggets:

1. Am I the only person that feels like they've discovered buried treasure when they find an actual piece of shrimp in shrimp fried rice? And it's like the best tasting shrimp in existence. 'Tis the little things in life...
2. Am I the only female that actually admits to occasional snoring and drooling during sleep? I can't control the shit that goes down when I'm ultra exhausted!
3. Have you ever asked a person how they were doing...and dreaded the answer cause you knew they would go into a heavy, detailed, response? I mean damn, just lie and say you're fine like the rest of us! I guess same goes for me too =X

I hope they never cancel Maury Povich and his "Is You My Baby Daddy?" shows. I feel that these shows could be great aversion therapy for the kiddies. Just sit your child down and let them watch the drama that can go down when you have miscellaneous, unprotected sex with someone you don't even like. I figure there might be a child or two saved from being a teenage parent.

Damn I'm rambling today. Peace.



Happy Hump Day Peeps!

Just a random nasty photo from the sick twisted internet. Im sorry, I know a thong is made to basically be embedded in your ass crack, this sucker just looks... well totally lost in the ass crack. Never to be seen or heard from again. Let this picture serve as a reminder that just because they MAKE it, doesnt mean you should WEAR IT.  Yikes.

Man, this house is quiet. :/ I have my thoughts to myself. I can regroup.  I shall title this post:

"Needful Things"

You cannot ascend to the next level without it, so it's no wonder that we strive so valiantly for acceptance...especially from our beloved. I remember with stinging clarity the girl I once was. Because I cared deeply what my former friends thought of me I worked especially hard to be what they needed; sometimes to my own detriment. It was such a knee-jerk thing; I wasn't comfortable in my own skin, so it was not at all difficult to become someone else. It was a prison of my own making.

When my needs and my wants began to clamor for attention, things began to change. I learned the hard way that even positive transformation is not acceptable in the eyes of someone that is perfectly comfortable with you in your as is condition. The more I learn about my internal workings and what I needed to be happy the more confident I became. I didn't ask for...I demanded (and sometimes commanded) respect. But part of me always wished for complete acceptance. Someone that would look at me and be able to see the real me. Get me. And love all of me; not just the easily digestable bits.

I've said before, loving him is freedom. With him, I am my whole self, and always have been. Always sensed that the acceptance I longed for was finally within reach. Still now I find it hard to believe that I was blessed to come across someone that loves me in totality...flaws and all. Does not wish to change me. Holds me, but doesn't restrict me. And has this uncanny way of being everything I have always wanted in a man. But for the first time in my life, I don't want to possess or lay claim to him because of it. I just appreciate...and enjoy - love, love, and more love and more. So much more...everyday.

Everyday it changes. We change. Grow upward and outward. I'm amazed at the mass amounts of transformation this one person evoked. It took some time and a bit of convincing on his part, but eventually I begin to believe all the hype. Yes I'm worthy and hell YES I am indeed the shit. Because of him, I walk differently, talk differently, see differently, experience life and people differently. I am different. And better.

I can't imagine what life would be like, if we hadn't found/healed/saved each other; if we hadn't walked away from the ones that held us back...together. When I sit and think about the work we put in to get here, the most prominent emotion I experience is gratitude.

I share this with you not to be boastful. I share this because good things should be shared with the world. And if you haven't found one yet, you need to locate your own biggest fan. Someone who sees the best in you even when you're at your absolute worst. I tell you, life ain't halfway as hard with a being like that at your side. Find yourself a groupie (and be theirs), and you become real philosophical about past hurts and transgressions, because it got you here.

Here. Where I've always wanted be.

The Web can be a BEEYOTCH. :/

It’s been such a long ass time since I’ve opened up an actual content management system to talk about myself! Ah the relief. Instead of paying a stranger to tell me how nuts I am I take to the net and get it out and feel 100 times better. I have to get used to this all over again, so bear with me.

This site is going to be a work in progress. I am still adding and giving things more functionality. Yes, I will be posting periodically. Some posts will be silly, some will be sexy, some will be totally random and probably will make you scratch your head and question its relevance. Oh well. I just had to get it up and working first. So check back every few days because thats about as often as I may need to purge for those interested in comiserating.

Things are going to be different around here. I’ve always been an outspoken chick, not afraid to exercise my right of free speech, however…I’m much older now, and some of the old things just dont apply anymore. I’m thirty ONE, *shudders*, a mother of 3, and some days forget to brush my teeth, or hair because Im worried about everyone else. :/ I wouldnt change it for anything though.  Life is sweet right now. I’m being thrown wonderful opportunities, and meeting exciting people who actually matter. I can’t really complain, although I’m sure I will. We all do. I will post randoms, recipes, thoughts, pretty much anything that pops into my warped mind. It'll be a GAS KITTEN!

I joined blogger because of the need to do and say whatever I wanted without physically hurting anybody. Self expression is very important to me. I’m not necessarily "hushed" , however, I cannot walk around talkin shit about people to their face (because I have tact). Gotta be a lady But on this site, all of that shit is thrown out of the window. I will treat this site like my personal chuck bag. It has to come out sometime...

Consider yourself warned.

And AWAY we go....

The 411:  I am a Daughter. Mother. Wife. Sister. Aunt. Friend. Ex-smoker. Cook. Student. I have a foul mouth. I have a loud laugh. Not the most extroverted girl. That's because people, as a whole, suck. I'm a nice girl, though. I see the beauty in everything but myself, and I'm working on that. I enjoy my friends, but when you become a mother, priorities shift. I can change a diaper in less than 60 seconds. Im a motherless daughter. I laugh at inappropriate situations, so forgive me if you fall and I chuckle. I'm the youngest of two children; I consider sleeping a hobby. I grew up on the SOUTH SIDE and am proud of it! Ashburn/Oak Lawn/Ridge. Butera was my Dominick's. I live for the arts. It is essential to my survival. Baptized Lutheran. Coverted to Catholicism. Practicing Pagan.

I believe the one thing we all have in common is a desire to follow a spiritual path which encourages self-discovery, and individual responsibility. I believe that all things exist in their own place, and it is up to you as an individual to find that balance and harmony. My circle of friends is very tight, and those inside find me to be warm, loyal, and easy to get along with. I may have some eccentric tastes and views about religion, politics, and society, but those who know me agree that I do not force any of these views down anybody's throat. I have an open mind, and try to use it to help others. My opinions and ways of thinking may be questionable, but without them I would not be me.


I am a budding artist, writer, poet, dancer. I do not necessarily excel in those categories, but the passion for it alone allows me the title. I see life in metaphors. I see dreams as reality. I am a work in progress. Evolution is my motto. I am vain, but modest. I am not the father of Anna Nicole's baby.


Known as: Red. Butch. Mama. Accept those nicknames without question. Flip flops, mild obsessions with lip gloss, body sprays, shoes and exfoliation. Waiting to be adopted by Brangelina. Open-minded with flexible points of view, possesses the ability to see things from all perspectives, and can sniff out the bullshit with canine ability. I am irony, personified. Undying loyalty to those that find their way to my heart. Trusting, but suspicious. I am your troubled child-hood. I am your neighbor. I am your confidant. I will kick your ass at Scrabble.

I have decided it is in my best interest and society's.. to purge the insanity inside of my head on a daily basis or Im going to end up in a padded room. I am a mother of 3 gorgeously fabulous children and I am currently home full time with them. 2 are in school, the youngest is turning 17 months tomorrow. Welcome to my madness... I hope you enjoy. <3